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Raising dogs, much like raising children, is done in stages. Just as your toddler needs to be supervised and socialized, so does your puppy. And, as you might expect your teenagers to flex the muscles of their new found independent nature, so too will your adolescent dog. That said, you would not expect your human youngster to sit (without fidgeting) for any length of time; the same holds true for your puppy. Because we have become a society of instant gratification (instant messages, instant images, instant banking) the idea of an instantly well-behaved dog might not seem like such a tall order. Regardless of the advances in technology, when it comes to raising dogs, growing up happens gradually, no matter what we expect.

We know that your teething youngster is not being at all aggressive but instead is at a stage of development when assertive behavior is par for the course. We know that your defiant adolescent dog (who was once a willing and obedient puppy) doesn't need a new home but instead a simple refresher course in basic obedience. We could save both you and your dog a lot of heartache. Setting realistic expectations requires a general reference. They are as follows:

WHAT TO EXPECT

7 to 12 weeks
Your puppy's attention span and ability to focus are short. He has little bladder and bowel control. He will need constant supervision, contact, and positive reinforcement. He needs to bond with people and socialize to new surroundings.
At this time, he will follow closely and dutifully by your side. He will know little or nothing of what you expect of his behavior. Your puppy will be capable of learning simple, basic commands (sit and come). But also at this time, keep lessons short and fun. Introduce new people with gentle care and patience.

12 to 16 weeks
At this time the "toddler" pup is trying to figure out who he is as an individual and also who is boss. He needs to test the strength and personality of every family member (in order to figure out where he fits in). He will need several short, daily lessons in basic obedience and constant verbal reminders not to use teeth on people or property. At this point the dog will be checking out his status within the "pack" by flexing his muscles and continually re-testing the youngest or weakest family member for the top dog spot.

4 to 8 months
The pup is learning to "fly" on his own. He won't come when called he won't obey unless bribed with food. Attention-getting behavior (i.e., defiant barking, stealing, running away) becomes his forte. He may seem deliberately vindictive but he's really just trying to be what he knows best-a dog. He will need to be reminded that calm, gentle, and obedient behavior will always win your attention and affection. Reward him whenever he is nearby for good behavior. Leaving the leash on him during training will help you follow through with commands. During this time he will have an increased need for aerobic exercise.

9 to 12 months
Your adolescent now has an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. He is in a constant power struggle between his good sense (which you have worked so hard to teach him) and his body (which is maturing sexually). Expect flaky behavior as well as more defiant behavior. Step up basic obedience lessons. Constant reminders and refresher courses in what you have taught him will help keep him on track. Increase aerobic exercise according to breed and individual needs.

18 to 24 months
This is the time when your young adult dog might try to exhibit more protective or territorial behavior than in previous stages. Remind him (using strong boundaries and basic obedience commands) that you are the one taking care of him. Dogs need to know they are working (not controlling) members of a pack; otherwise, they feel they must take control and become top dog. Keep in mind that in addition to strong leadership, key elements in dog's overall and ultimate behavior are proper diet, lots of exercise, and ample socialization. Some dogs never feel the need to flex their muscles and settle into adulthood nicely and without incident. But, whichever character your dog has, this is the stage when your patience, guidance, and parenting skills really begin to payoff.

Notwithstanding breed-specific behavior (i.e., terriers dig, herding dogs chase, working dogs guard), every dog needs to be taught how to behave. The more time we put into age-appropriate training and exercise, the more rewarding the results. Fantasizing about the success of the relationship, with little understanding of the natural course of how dogs learn, can make even the smallest setback in behavior seem monumental. Knowing what to expect and when to expect it will help you and your dog to stay on course.